Pro tips

It is not Annise Parker's fault that you got a traffic ticket in the City of Pearland. [True story: someone made this assertion to one of the clerks at the window.]

If the prosecutor offers you a deferred, please take it.

Taking a case to trial in municipal court will almost always end up more expensive than taking the prosecutor's offer. (ESPECIALLY if you hire an attorney.)

Just because other people were speeding, it does not absolve you from your driving 20 mph over the speed limit.

Before you accuse an officer of profiling, it might be a good idea to make sure he or she isn't the same race as you are.

Funny story

So I've moved and I'm a city prosecutor in a growing suburb of Houston. I went from felonies to Class C misdemeanors, which means more trials, less stress, and more dealing with stupid people (as opposed to dealing with their attorneys).

Important thing to know for this story: There's a rule in this court (that is common in most courts) that people are not allowed to wear shorts. I don't mind bending the rule if someone is A) legitimately wearing a work uniform (like a USPS employee, etc.) or B) a woman wearing nice capri pants or some sort of matching set. That being said, if you come to court in jorts and expect that to fly when you've already been to court once and should rules about attire, I don't have much sympathy for you.

Yesterday we had pretrial settings in the morning and the afternoon. I was talking to someone in the courtroom and an officer came and got me to talk to a woman who was distraught about not being allowed in the courtroom while wearing above-knee-length jean shorts. I went out to talk to her, her case was set for trial since she wasn't going to be allowed in to the court, and I went back to my other conversation. Story over. Except, this morning I found out from our bailiff that when she was told she would not be allowed in the courtroom because of what she was wearing, this sobbing crazy person actually CALLED THE COPS on the bailiff. News flash, the "Mommy, she's being mean to me!" approach does not endear you to the prosecutor, the bailiff, or anyone else in court. You are told you can't come in the court because you are dressed inappropriatedly (which anyone who has EVER watched TV should know) and so you cry and call the cops? I shudder to think what else this 40-something-year-old woman has called the police about during her life.

Worst blogger ever

Worst blogger ever...that would be me. It's 2011 and I'm still in Lamesa. I've put almost 10,000 miles on my car since I bought it less than three months ago. (I think I'm about 100 miles short of 10,000.) I've applied to jobs in every county contiguous to Harris County, and some further away, and even the new Harris County Public Defender's office. I really want to move back to Houston. I miss Kyle. And Lisa. And my friends.

Work is okay. I'm up to six trials, four as first chair, and my record is 5-1. Two more trials coming up at the end of January, so hopefully those will go well.

Scout is good. She seems to have topped out at about 30 pounds, which is smaller than expected but a good size for me and our travel schedule.

I can think of trite things to add, but I think I'll pass on that for today, and wish everyone a happy new year. I hope you (and I) get everything you desire in 2011.

Aurora is no more-a

I had a car accident driving home on October 8. I am fine. My left foot is still a little sore from banging into the underside of the dash/steering column/whatever it was I kicked, and I have a bruise on my right arm, but I'm otherwise unscathed. Scout was in the car and is likewise, fine. I am incredibly lucky. My 2001 Civic, Aurora, did not come out so well. I was driving east on I-20, came up a hill onto an overpass in Roscoe, TX, started to veer because I wasn't paying close enough attention and over-corrected. I then proceeded to play pinball between both concrete barriers on the bridge and wound up on the center grassy median. Both airbags deployed and my long-suffering Civic was totaled. I was able to get a tow to Sweetwater, and the towing company gave me and another couple a ride to the Abilene airport, where I was able to procure a car from Hertz. I am NEVER using Hertz again. I'll walk before I rent another car from them. I returned the car less than 24 hours later and as of now, they've charged me $181 for less than 24 hours use of a Camry. I will be contesting this, particularly in light of the fact that, seeing as my Civic is no more, I bought a replacement vehicle last weekend. I am now the owner of a 2010 Honda Insight (black) that, so far, has gotten up to 37.3 mpg. I'm working to improve that number and hoping to beat the Honda claims of 40 mpg city and 43 mpg highway.

In other news, Greg is gone. He was the first assistant and has left to be an ADA in Llano, Texas. He was replaced by Amy, who worked with Brian in the DA's office in Lubbock. Improvement? YES. So while I would like to get back to Houston as soon as possible (and the job search is ongoing) I am happier being stuck in Lamesa than I was a couple months ago. Amy's been an attorney for long enough that she has no problem giving me the lead on trials, so I'll probably actually get some good experience with her here instead of Greg, who apparently didn't think I was ever ready to be a trial attorney. I think my 10 year sentence on a 3rd degree felony speaks otherwise, but whatever.

As for my job search, I've now sent in resumes to Galveston, Brazoria, Fort Bend, Montgomery, and Brazos Counties, as well as several Judicial District offices closer to Houston. So far, no dice. Keep your fingers crossed and/or your prayers ongoing that something comes up soon. Given the choice, I'd much rather move in winter than summer.

That's really all the big change that's happened since I last posted. Have a good weekend!

Two posts in a week?!? Whoa.

I actually intended to write this post yesterday, but I was distracted and forgot. Something that I have noticed, and lamented to some of my readers since moving to Lamesa, is the sameness of almost everyone here. There is some racial diversity, in that there's a decent mix of white, black, and Hispanic (a group which everyone here refers to as "Spanish"), but there is little to no Asian or Middle Eastern population in west Texas. Further, everyone I've come across is either Baptist or (a few are) Methodist. I realize this shouldn't really be a surprise to me or anyone else, but it makes me sad. I never realized it at the time, but I was lucky to grow up in a pretty diverse setting. I have multiracial cousins on my mom's side and diversity of religious beliefs on both sides of my family, from my parents on out. Perhaps even more importantly, my parents were always open to the idea of teaching Lisa and I about different cultures, be it in terms of food, religion, history, or anything else. My dad's best friends at UTA and Mobil were Muslim and Hindu, and my dad is somewhere between agnostic and atheist, so I've been comfortable with the idea of the validity of diverse types of beliefs since I was young.

Long story short, (too late!) I wish the people I know out here had been given the same experience. Everyone is in their little bubble of what is acceptable in terms of religion and morals and behavior, and nobody seems capable of internalizing the idea that there is more than one right way to do pretty much everything. I don't think my coworkers have any idea when they offend me: they'll apologize for making some mildly misogynist joke, but then go on to make some comment about gay people (but "gay" isn't the vernacular here) or Arabs (not that they use the word "Arab," either) or that anyone who believes in evolution is clearly going to hell, and it never occurs to anyone that these are the things that piss me off and make me want to walk out or yell at them, because they assume they are right and the Other in that context is, obviously, wrong.

I really miss living in a diverse environment, where people actually have opinions that are different from one another, and backgrounds that are unique. It seems to me that I'm the only odd duck. I went straight to college and law school, didn't get married and divorced young, no second marriage, no kids, no background in law enforcement, I don't regularly attend First or Second Baptist, etc. Lamesa is not home. How soon can I move back to a place like home? It can't be soon enough.

QOTD: "Since folks here to an absurd degree, seem fixated on your verdigris, would it be all right with you, if I de-greenify you?"

What do you take me for, a blogger?

Lisa said I should update my blog. It's been more than two months since I last wrote a post, so she may have a point. Let's see...I'm looking for a job so I can move back to Houston. I've applied to an ever-lengthening list of DA's offices and other possibilities but so far, no luck. My sister is job-hunting and, in the meantime, working at a math/science camp for girls in 4th - 8th grade. Kyle got a job in Houston, moved there last Wednesday, and started work today. Tomorrow is the first day of the last bar exam where I'm likely to know very many people taking it. I have seen Avenue Q, Beauty and the Beast, and Wicked in the last two months. (The latter two in the past two weeks.) I have visited Austin, Houston, Arlington, and will be visiting San Antonio soon.

If you want to hear about my job, that's something to be told in person and not discussed online, because it is a long and complicated tale of woe and whoa. I'm so punny. Supposedly I may be sitting second chair in trials soon, which would substantially improve my marketability, but I've been told I'd get to do that before and it didn't happen, so I'll believe it when I see it.

I finished "How to be Good" by Nick Hornby on the way to Houston last Thursday. I love his storytelling style and the characters' voice, but it was definitely my least favorite among his books. I have a stack of other books to read, including five new additions to the stack thanks to Jay (Kyle's mom). Thanks, Jay!

In other news, Scout is now a year old (as of July 2) and it appears she'll max out at around 30 pounds, which is smaller than originally expected or desired, but turns out to be good for travel. She's big enough to be a real dog, but I can still bring her places fairly easily in my car (although she's too big to fly Southwest).

People who haven't visited me yet and still want to: I have a couple probably free weekends in August, or we can start talking September. I love hosting visitors and I'd love to show you around Lamesa. It'll take 15 minutes. That's all I can think of, so have a good day and, as ever, I'll try to be better about updating.

Blogger fail

I'm pretty much the worst blogger ever. Still no trials, lots of travels, my baby sister has now graduated from college, Kyle is officially Dr. Williams, and I (rather masochistically) have decided to run the capital to coast relay with Michael's team. The last is dependent on getting enough girls to make a coed relay team, but I'm hopeful. I suck at running, but I'm going to try because I want to be able to run with Scout (although I'll never be able to keep up with her) and fit into my thin jeans again. For that and other reasons, please feel free to say a prayer, light a candle, sacrifice a virgin goat at midnight, whatever your preference for getting your requests granted as they pertain to my succeeding in life. Not that I'm self-centered or anything.

In the near future, I have lots of travels and a few visitors to look forward to: Ange and a friend are coming through Lamesa this weekend and Kyle and I are going to see Avenue Q with my family next weekend. Woohoo for people coming here and my getting the heck out (but not at the same time).